Of all my varied and ruthless efforts to uncover 10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About our varied and ruthless Canadian Crime Writers, this next was perhaps the one I dreaded the most.

Dread made my hair fall out...and turn orange...and ruined my teeth...my nose, however, has always been that colour

From the moment I first heard of Lou Allin, I knew he was hiding something. It was so obvious that the name was a fake. Lou and Allin, two of the most common first names, pulled into duty, as if in dire hope that their very commonness would keep suspicion at bay. But ‘Lou’ hadn’t counted on me. Just the sound of the unlikely name, ”Lou Allin’ set bells in my head a-clanging (well, worse than usual). He might as well have called himself Fred Henry or Cher Gaga.

I SEEEEEEEEEE you, 'Lou Allin'!

I was instantly on high alert. ‘Lou Allin’ was going to be a slippery one. What was he hiding? And why? And did I have the fortitude, the bravery, the cajones to go the distance and uncover the untellable.

Uh, sure. Yeah. I do. Uh huh.

First I had to find him. The only clue I had to work with were his books. Lou Allin had written two series. The Belle Palmer series features a realtor and her German shepherd, Freya.

Murder, Eh? A Belle Palmer Mystery

Rumour had it that these books were written after “Lou Allin’ escaped the US, on the run from infamy.  Apparently, he finally found temporary sanctuary in some place  referred to (in secret comunications with friends) as The Nickel Capital.

I pulled out my handy garage sale globe and a magnifying glass and began scouring the world for a place called Nickel. Once I found  Nickel, I figured it shouldn’t be too hard to determine its capital. And once I located the capital, I would find the elusive ‘Lou Allin’.

Research always makes me thirsty.

Many days passed in this pursuit. It’s true, my personal grooming suffered…

...but I always managed to put on a nice, clean shirt.

I was determined that Lou Allin would not best me. I would find him! And when I did, I would pull away the filmy drapery that hid his cracked window for all to see through!

That's right 'Lou Allin', I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you!

Unfortunately, the only place on my globe called Nickel was a small hamlet in Southern USSR. Damn Air Canada had no direct flights. They used some flimsy excuse, like, “Well, sir, there is no USSR anymore”. Oh yeah, sure, good one.

So, I found it on my own.

I interviewed all the residents of Nickel, USSR, demanding to see all their documents at the same time (just for the hell of it)

Alas, there was no comrade pretending to be ’Lou Allin’. But, as luck would have it, I ran into a mysterious woman named Marlene who told me she once shared a bottle of plummy, dark amarone with ‘Lou Allin’.

The mysterious smoking woman in Nickel

She also told me I’d have more luck searching  the Canadian Carribean where  ”Lou Allin’ – obviously still on the run – had recently relocated and begun a new series starring RCMP corporal Holly Martin:

and on the surface DIE

She Felt No Pain

Oh yeah!  The Canadian Caribbean. SCORE!!!! Off I went.

We almost made it right to the beach...

Once I'd dined on a whale blubber enchilada and a margarita, I headed out to find my so-called 'Lou Allin'...

I got 'im! Hollywood paparazzi have nothing on me! I could see the headlines: "Lou Allin' caught on film in the Canadian Caribbean!

 I breathlessly ran to the nearest pharmacy to get the film developed.

But oh no!

Still working on the grooming thing.

Instead of the wily imposter ‘Lou Allin’, I’d taken a photo of a rather lovely lady who was harmlessly playing with her dog on the Canadian Caribbean beach:

Woman on the beach

 I quickly ran back to find her, hoping she’d know something. Well, my days of being shocked were not quite over. The lady insisted that SHE was Lou Allin and showed me her drivers license to prove it:

Oddly enough, Lou Allin's drivers license photo includes her dogs

I started to back away slowly. But she followed and insisted on telling me:

10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Crime Writer Lou Allin (or whoever that woman on the beach really was)

1. If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what would you serve?

Anyone who reads my books knows I’m a classic film fan. When I was fifteen, twenty-five, and thirty-five, I would have invited Garbo. In my more golden years, Marlene Dietrich seems a better choice. Not only did she stand up for her convictions by touring for the Allied troops, but she was also a terrific cook. With some Schubert lieder on the CD, we’d start with Fanny Bay oysters and Sumac Ridge sparkling wine from British Columbia. Then some hlodnik, a beet soup with tiny shrimp from the Strait of Juan de Fuca. After that, time for rosemary-marinated boneless leg of lamb on the barbie (served
with fresh mint sauce), risotto, and roasted anise bulb as we watch the cruise ships pass. For the wine, a plummy and dark amarone. The finishing touch and a tribute to my mother would be cherry pie with a tender and flaky lard crust. After dinner, espresso and a tot of Cabo Wabo anejo tequila.

2. Who do you think you are?

My students in Public Squeaking used to call me Li’l Hitler. Other than
that, I’m a Northerner living in Canada’s Caribbean. How many people have spent most of their lives in Cleveland and Sudbury?

3. What’s your problem?

I should have started this writing stuff in my twenties. Like a fool, I
collected useless English degrees and read other people’s novels.

4. The Canadian crime writer. Myth or mystery?

The Canadian crime writer without another job is a myth for sure. That any Canadian is a crime writer at all is one of life’s greatest mysteries. It must be the seven months of winter or the Public Lending Rights subsidies.

5. If you could change one thing about any of your books, what would it be?

I’d make Belle Palmer a thirty-two-year-old detective. Much more fun than selling real estate.

6. When no one is looking, what is your guilty pleasure?

Eating raw pie dough.

7. If you could have one wish, who would you give it up to?

My mini-poodle Friday, aka Strudel the Bush Poodle. She’s only eight, but she’s losing her vision to retinal atrophy. On second thought, she’s a tough old girl so loyal that she wouldn’t take the wish from me.

8. When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?

Marie Dressler? Might as well stay Canadian.

9. What’s the most Canadian thing about you?

I had my DNA done and the two largest segments were Finnish and Pakistani.
Mixed in are tinctures of Swedish, Dutch, German, Celt, Western Australian European-Aboriginal, and Thracian. I am the soul of multiculturalism.

10. Do you have anything you’d like to plug?

I’d like to plug my best book with the best title but the worst cover.
Murder, Eh? Over one thousand copies are still in our warehouses. For nearly a year, a back injury forced me to plot all afternoon in order to sit at the computer for ten minutes. Afterwards, I returned to my lazy ways.

And as an extra treat, Lou answered one more question:

11. What crime have you committed that no one knows about?

When I was ten, I was playing in a graveyard on the Old Kingston Road in Toronto. I climbed up an obelisk and grabbed a huge cement ball at the top.
It came off in my hands, and down I fell, with that fifty-pound ball landing whomp like a cannon shot beside my head. In tears, I rode my bike back to my Aunt Belle’s, who didn’t turn me in. My mother would have. She was a Vice Principal. That’s why I used Aunt Belle’s name for my lead character and why in every book, my mother is either dead or missing. Is this too dark? I did love my mother, and I “talk” to her every night. She promised that she would haunt me if I didn’t play Onward, Christian Soldiers on my trumpet after her
passing. I did, and she hasn’t.

Come back on Monday, August 2nd to learn 10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Crime Writer Robin Harlick.

Here is the link for Inside Reader created by Elisa Rolle, where I respond to her question about my ten favourite LGBT books. The intro had a nice surprise for me: “Last night I was talking with an LGBT Italian publisher; in Italy the only LGBT titles you can find are some known by everyone Young Adult, or some mainstr…eam title like Jamie O’Neill or Andre Aciman or David Leavitt. So our conversation was me asking: “do you know?” and him saying “no” until we arrived to Anthony Bidulka… “Oh yes! the Canadian mystery writer!”. Anthony Bidulka has managed what very few did, to have his name famous abroad even if his books are not yet translated (at least not in Italy). Anthony Bidulka is also a name readers of sophisticated mystery novels always have in their list.”

Check it out at: http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/1087045.html

When people ask about my writing schedule, I often tell them that most of my serious writing occurs during the summer months. There are a number of reasons for this. But part of it is simply because Saskatchewan is a lovely place to be in the summer. So, of any time in the year, summertime is when I travel the least. I like to stay home, and try to treat my own back yard as a holiday destination.

Our back yard - a holiday destination

And with so many days home in a row – it is a perfect time to get in lots of uninterrupted writing. Spring, Winter and Fall tend to be when I’m on promotion tours, plus personal travel.  So for me, summer = writing.

That being said, I tend not to plan any writing related events or travels during these months. But there are exceptions, usually close to home.

The first, this summer, was an invitation to appear at the 14th annual Festival of Words in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. (see www.festivalofwords.com)

I last appeared at Festival of Words four years ago.

Appearing at Festival of Words 2006

This is really quite an extraordinary multi day event that draws hundreds of people not only from the surrounding area but also from across the province and beyond. And it attracts quite a star-studded cast list of some of Canada’s top writers from every genre. So, needless to say, I was honoured to have been invited.

This was the poster and brochure cover, a shot by the wonderful photographer Iden Ford, who also happens to have ties to the literary world as he is married to the famed writer Maureen Jennings (Murdock Mysteries)

It also helps that Moose Jaw bosts one of the provinces best Spa Resorts at the Temple Gardens Mineral Spa

Temple Gardens Mineral Spa

I was scheduled for three readings and a panel (and a massage). Most of the readings took place in the gorgeous pulbic library/art museum complex. The poster picture (above) is of part of the lovely Crescent Park that surrounds the complex.

Moose Jaw Public Library

Some of the beautiful architecture inside. Many of the readings were held just off this rotunda.

I did begin to feel a bit like the jinx of the Festival though. They way it worked, is that most sessions were joint readings by two authors, 50 minutes total. So we were to prepare presentation of 20 minutes each, then take questions for remaining time.

But for two of my sessions, my fellow presenter cancelled their appearance at the Festival. Of course this wasn’t known until right before. Suddenly I had to stretch 20 minutes of prepared material into 50.

Yikes!

Fortunately it turned out okay. I found some extra stuff to read and called on  my inner blabbermouth. Most importantly though, I had wonderful attendees who asked many great questions. And actually, both times, we ran out of time. It worked out so well, that when I had a session that actually was shared by another author – the wonderful Judy Fong Bates (The Year of Finding Memory – see http://www.judyfongbates.com/) …

Judy Fong Bates

…I was thinking, hey, I need more time….

On late Friday afternoon, it seemed like most of the attendees made the short five minute walk to the historic and gorgeous Mae Wilson Theatre on Main Street…

The Mae Wilson Theatre

Lorna Crozier

UofS Main Bookstore

The renovations are over!

I always think of Secret Gardens kinda like this...

Homeland of the fair princess, Vicki

all subjects rejoiced at the birth of their fair-haired beloved, Princess Vicki of Cameroon!

Her sister was Rapunzel of Cameroon

The weight upon her lily-white shoulders was great. The expectation was that she would rule all her lands far and wide.

The benevolent P.Vic inspecting her realm

But lonely rested the crown on the fair maiden’s head of peroxi…uh…blond curls…

Sad Disneyesque music playing in background, squirrels beside themselves with grief

Hearty to the core, P.Vic appeared happy and content at all Cameroon royal functions…

Blue Period

But something was missing. The princess was sad.

Sad Vicki of Cameroon

The throne was a bitterly lonely place.

Lonely P.Vic on Throne of Cameroon

The consensus of the people of Cameroon was clear. The princess was in need of…a PRINCE!

In no time a suitable match was arranged.

With Princess' consort, Ronald, Duke of McDonaldshire, Earl of Fileto'FishLand

Although the love was great, happiness was not for our dear Princess.

She began to act out in the most immodest ways, often cavorting naked with flora…

Cry for Help

But alas, the court’s Fool, deciphered the clues and found the problem. The princess had a true love that was unrequited:

One True Love: Writing Crime!

And so, as legend goes, lovely Princess Vicki of Cameroon, moved to Canada and became Vicki Cameron, Canadian Crime Writer.

Crime Writer Vicki Cameron

As for Cameroon? Well, her love, Ronald became the dictator and ruler in her absence…

Ronald, undisputed Ruler of Cameroon

And in due course, the former royal, bestowed upon us:

10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Crime Writer Vicki Cameron

1. If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what
would you serve?
Since the whole point of having John Lennon over for dinner is to be able to talk to him, I’d plan a menu that can be assembled ahead of time, so I’m not trapped in the kitchen. I’d go for a lasagna and salad for main course. My family says my lasagna is pretty good, and it’s hard to mess up a salad. For dessert I’d make pies… apple, blueberry, pumpkin, butterscotch… something in there has to appeal to John, and I can make them all the day before with the lasagna. Hhhmm. Now, that I look at it, that’s a pretty down-home meal. I think John Lennon has more sophisticated taste than that. Maybe I ought to invite someone else. John Denver?

2.    Who do you think you are?
I don’t know. Do you? Back in the Sixties we all went on a mission to Find Ourselves. I think I took the wrong fork in the road because I’m still wandering. However, if you know who I am, I hope it includes the phrases ‘useful’ and ‘fun to have around’.

3.    What’s your problem?
My problem is I don’t have a solution. Or I used the wrong solution.

4.    The Canadian crime writer. Myth or mystery?
Leaning toward Myth. Or Mythic Status.

5.    If you could change one thing about any of your books, what would it be?
Sales! More sales!

6.    When no one is looking, what is your guilty pleasure?
Chocolate for breakfast.

7.    If you could have one wish, who would you give it up to?
Like all mothers, I think of my children first, so I’d give it to one of my two sons. But which one? I wish I knew. Oops, there goes that wish.

8.    When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?
Undeniably, Rod Stewart. Later, when I get my hair tamed, I apparently look like Jane Stewart. People stare at me in Tim Hortons, the kind of staring that indicates they know me from somewhere but just can’t put their finger on it.

9.    What’s the most Canadian thing about you?
My passport.

10.  Do you have anything you’d like to plug?
My middle grade novel Shillings is history-based, about Colonel By’s children having an adventure and solving a mystery during the building of the Rideau Canal.

Shillings

Shillings has a student workbook on CD for teachers and home-schoolers. Since the publisher has closed, you have to order it from me. deadlock@xplornet.com. I write a lot of short stories, so pick up any of the Ladies’ Killing Circle anthologies, there are seven to choose from.

Going Out With a BangWhen Boomers Go Bad

I’d also like to plug breakfast at the Spencerville Legion, $3.50 for the full Monty, dine with people who resemble celebrities like the cast of Red Green. And the Bodhi Tree Yoga Centre in Kemptville, where I am recognized for my true inner self, and not mistaken for Jane Stewart.

Coming up Monday, July 26 – 10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Crime Writer Lou Allin.

Finally. I was going to take a much-needed break from chasing down Canadian Crime Writers.

The heralded hot, sunny, dry summer of Saskatchewan, the subject of many a song like…well, I’ll think of one later…had finally arrived. I’d put away my pen in favour of a rake, trimmers, shears, and garden shovel. The only digging I’d be doing would be in the dirt. What were the chances of my finding a Canadian Crime Writer in the dirt?

I prepared for my time in the garden.

I own the deer. The lion, I had to rent.

I was ready. Bring on the sun (and SPF).

I think I see some blue in there somewhere...

First, I waded over to the garden.

I hurriedly checked on my winter vegetables.

 I then portaged back toward the house.

Phew. What a lovely time I was having. By this time I was tired and needed a break.

A garden is not complete without lovely spaces for sitting and relaxing.

As I sat there, contemplating what next to do on this joyous summer day…

I'm much taller when I'm standing.

I heard quite an unusual noise.

“Hark!” I called out. (Yes I did say ‘hark’.)

“Why don’t ye come this way,” said a smarmy, yet oddly inviting voice.

I looked over, and next to the azalea bush was…well…this:

“What do ye wantith with me.” Practicing my Ye Olde English. Pretty good, right?

With a whip of her tail, she headed down a trail I’d not seen before (even though it was my yard).

"Follow me," the creature said cattily.

And so I did. I ran and ran and ran, until I could run no further. Because there was a hole and if I went further I’d fall in.

Anthony Looking Down the Cat-Thing Hole (I'm growing out my hair)

“Foooooollllllllooooooooooooow meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……”

I took several steps into the hole.

What was I thinking! This couldn’t turn out well. Instead, I turned around and made to escape the hole. But alas I was thwarted!

The hole-maker

Having no choice, I turned back and headed into the hole. Deeper and deeper and deeper I went, and then I began to faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I opened my eyes, seconds, minutes, days later – I do not know which – I saw the most beautiful things:

The famed garden path.

The famed rock garden.

The famed...weird prickly thing.

I knew there was only one place I could be: The Famed Nicola Furlong Garden!

I’d been led to the special place of yet another Canadian Crime Writer.

And there, laid before me in the sumptuous garden, was a lovely tea party

All place settings available at Pier 1

 In attendance were our bashful author…

Nicola Furlong

Some dude in a weird hat…

A gal named Alice…

Make-up must have smudged in all the rain.

And a beaver…

No...wait, I might have just imagined the beaver....

We had a delightful time, and over the next while Nicola shared with all of us (with the possible exception of the beaver):

10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Crime Writer Nicola Furlong

1. If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what would you
serve?     

BBQ nut burgers, fudge brownies and skim milk over ice.

2.    Who do you think you are?     

I don’t think; I know: I’m bloody marvellous.

3.    What’s your problem?     

That I think I’m bloody marvellous.

4.    The Canadian crime writer. Myth or mystery?     

Both mythical and mysterious but mostly just plain hard working, unknown and poor.

5.    If you could change one thing about any of your books, what would it be?     

I’d soak the golf ball on the cover of Teed Off! with blood

6.    When no one is looking, what is your guilty pleasure?     

Home made chocolate fudge

7.    If you could have one wish, who would you give it up to?   

Who says I’d give it up?

8.    When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?

Easy peasy: Miss Piggy

9.    What’s the most Canadian thing about you?   

I dig Gordie Lightfoot, playing hockey and prairie skies.

10.  Do you have anything you’d like to plug?   

Yeah, please read Canadian crime fiction

Nicola Furlong survives the travails of writing by playing hockey, hosting weird tea parties, gardening and eating chocolate.

Her first mystery novel, TEED OFF!, features professional golfer and coroner Riley Quinn;

Teed Off!

Her second, A HEMORRHAGING OF SOULS, is a harrowing tale of blasphemy, insanity, suicide and murder.

A Hemorrhaging of Souls

Both are now available as e-books; check NICOLA’S WORK.

Nicola has also written six novels in THE CHURCH CHOIR MYSTERIES series and recently launched the world’s first QUILLR®: a multimedia online supernatural thriller: UNNATURALSTATES.COM.

Nicola lives in a small seaside town on southern Vancouver Island, British Columbia.

For more info, please check out her blog @ www.epubbing.com and www.nicolafurlong.com

On July 12th, come along as I find out 10 Silly Things about Canadian Crime Writer Vicki Cameron. Until then…

In my last website poll I asked the questions: When reading a mystery, do you like to (1) guess whodunit before the end, (2) be surprised by whodunit, or (3) either way is fine.

Without too much surprise, the top answer by 54% was (3) either way is fine.

What I was surprised by was that only 15% said they wanted to figure out whodunit before the end. So many readers tell me they love to try and figure things out. But I guess what many of them don’t say, is that if they are successful in figuring it out before the last page, although it might make them feel smart, perhaps they also feel a bit cheated. They spent their money on a detective (even if he or she is fictional) to figure out a mystery. If they can figure it out themselves, why do they need the detective in the first place.

I know for myself, I don’t even try to figure it out. If the answer falls into my lap, that’s okay, but generally, I like being taken for the ride the author has in store for me. If I’m working too hard on trying to figure out the mystery, then I’m not spending enough time just enjoying the read.

There is a new poll up that asks: What is your top ‘Must Have’ in a mystery novel?

To let your wish be know, visit www.anthonybidulka.com to register your vote.

How do you choose?

It finally happened.

Finally.

Instead of having to hunt Canadian Crime Writers like a squirrel after nuts, I received my first invitation welcoming a 10 Silly Things interview.

A lovely invitation slipped under my door

It was a bit of a puzzle though. I like puzzles.

I knew that ‘Saskatchewan Express’ was referring either to a local youth song and dance troup, or the mythical sister train of the famed Orient Express.

The Saskatchewan Express

I was betting on the latter. Folklore had it that the train departed at 9pm every dark and stormy night, from the Mendel Art Gallery in Saskatoon, arriving several hours later at Regina Beach.

But which Canadian Crime Writer had sent me this note? It was signed “9B”.  Was it the author’s shoe size? Was it a compartment number on the train? What good would that do me? Is that where I was to meet the mysterious writer?

I studied the note more closely. I noticed that several of the letters which should have been capitalized were not, and the same in reverse. Ah ha! Suppose the “9″ was not a 9 at all, but rather, a small”g”? That would make the note from GB.

GB? GB? What Canadia…wait. I had it. One of her earlier books was called:

Murder at the Mendel

The train departed from the Mendel.

The destination was Regina Beach. This author is famed for her love of being by water. I had it! 9B was none other than:

Gail Bowen

At 9pm I boarded the Saskatchewan Express with a collection of unsavoury sorts typical of  this sort of voyage:

The innocent starlet

Guy with a waxed moustache

Dashing stranger

Dottering spinster of a certain age

Lonely lady

Mystery man who doesn't say much

The Professor

...and a beaver.

The first hour was uneventful. We all gathered in the ornate drawing room car…

The Drawing Room aboard the Saskatchewan Express

Then…the lights went out!

eek.

There was a shudder. A shake. A bright light of some sort. Someone asked to be taken to our leader. There was some probing. And then I came to, only to see…

Reality or mirage? You tell me.

And there she was, author of the multi-award winning series featuring Joanne Kilbourn – a university professor, sometime political columnist, and a wife, mother and grandmother – including The Brutal Heart, the 11th book in the series…

The Brutal Heart

…willing to share with me:

10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Crime Writer Gail Bowen

1.        If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what
would you serve?

I’m presuming that if my guest is dead, calories won’t count for either of us. I’d serve Veuve clicquot (Demi sec); blini with melted butter , sour cream and caviar; consommé madrilène with a nice Bordeaux; rack of lamb; fresh asparagus; baby carrots and new potatoes with a bottle of Syrah and for dessert…bread pudding with bourbon/caramel sauce and more champagne.

2.    Who do you think you are?

I think of myself as a wife, mother, grandmother, dog-owner, friend and writer – in that order.

3.    What’s your problem?

I’m a worrier.

4.    The Canadian crime writer. Myth or mystery?

Myth

5.    If you could change one thing about any of your books, what   
would it be?

I’d give my protagonist a profession that would make her involvement with all these murders a little more logical.  My 12^th Joanne Kilbourn book will be published in 2010.  That means that, at a minimum, Joanne has been involved with 12 murders and murderers – pretty impressive for an academic who teaches political science.

6.    When no one is looking, what is your guilty pleasure?

Watching “The Young and the Restless” when I do my treadmill time.

7.    If you could have one wish, who would you give it up to?

My grand-daughters, Madeleine and Lena.  They’re world-class wishers and very good at making their wishes come true.

8.    When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?

Margaret Drabble

9.    What’s the most Canadian thing about you?

I apologize when someone bumps into me.

10.  Do you have anything you’d like to plug?

You bet.  “The Nesting Dolls” will be published by McClelland & Stewart in September 2010.  My new series of Charlie D mysteries (for reluctant adult readers) will debut with “Love You to Death” on April 1, 2010; “One Fine Day You’re Gonna Die” will be published in Fall 2010.  My play “Saving Lonesome George will be touring in southwestern Ontario during April and May. 

Love You To Death

Wait for it…when next we meet on Monday, June 28th…we catch up with the wily Canadian Crime Writer, Nicola Furlong.

Mysterious woman at the door

“Can I help ya, doll?” I asked, lighting my own cigarette and pulling  a fifth of Johnnie Walker and two glasses from the bottom drawer of a desk that had seen better days.

“It’s the other way around,” she purred.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re looking for someone. And I know just where to find her.”

“Oh yeah?” I threw it out like I didn’t care. I poured two glasses of liquid fire. Downed the first. Let the second sit.

She smiled. Moving like a black cat at midnight, she approached my desk. And my booze.

“That for me, sailor?”

I frowned. What the hell did she mean by that? I knew I shouldn’t have worn my blue dickie. I shrugged.

She drank it anyway.

“P.A. Brown,” she whispered.

P. A. Brown

“What about her?” I was playing it cool.

“The author of L.A. Heat…

L.A. Heat

…L.A. Mischief…

L. A. Mischief

… L.A. Boneyard…

L.A. Boneyard

…and the brand new L.A. Bytes.”

L.A. Bytes

“Yeah?”

“I know where she is. You don’t.”

She was right. I had no idea where P.A. might be. Nothing about her or her books or book titles had given me a clue. I was baffled. Was this femme fatale my ticket to my next Canadian Crime Writer?

“What’s the rub?”

“You’re gonna have to take me with you.”

And that’s how I ended up in L.A. looking for P.A. Apparently, between writing gigs, she taken to philanthropy. Mystery lady got us both an invite to a sparkly shindig hosted by Brown, benefiting her pet cause: Home for the Down on their Luck Detective.

We decked ourselves out L.A. style!

The lunges I had to do to pull this off! Oi!

Mystery lady looked pretty good too

Kojak: Premature Baldness and Adult Onset Addiction to Lollipops

Columbo: Wrinkled Raincoat Fetish

Jessica Fletcher: Homelessness. (Everywhere she goes people die. No longer welcome in Cabot Cove.)

Frank Cannon: Gluttony. (Ate Starsky & Hutch. The Dukes of Hazard missing and feared digested.)

Police Woman: Just trying to live down the character name of Pepper. (Isn't that enough to tug at your heartstrings?)

Jim Rockford: Anger management issues

At the end of the evening, Pat Brown was rightfully feted for her kindness to those on whose backs all we Crime Writers stand on.

The crowd goes wild for an emotional P.A. Brown.

As for my mystery lady? The last I saw of her, she was…working the room.

Chit chatting

But I didn’t care, because I got my…

10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Crime Writer P.A. Brown

1.      If you could invite any famous person, dead or alive, for dinner, what
would you serve?

The dead one. Living people are so hard to chew on. Besides, dead
people at the dinner table tend to spoil one’s appetite.

2.    Who do you think you are?

An 18 year old trapped in a middle-aged woman’s body

3.    What’s your problem?

See above.

4.    The Canadian crime writer. Myth or mystery?

Mystery. So many people can’t find us on a world map.

5.    If you could change one thing about any of your books, what would it be?
That they sit on the NY Times Best Sellers list for six weeks, instead of never.

6.    When no one is looking, what is your guilty pleasure?

Buying a big slab of vanilla fudge and eating it in one sitting.

7.    If you could have one wish, who would you give it up to?

Nobody. I’d keep it and use it for my own good. See above, #2

8.    When you wake up in the morning, what celebrity do you most resemble?

Emo Phillips

9.    What?s the most Canadian thing about you?

I sleep with the windows open in the middle of winter.

10.  Do you have anything you’d like to plug?

My L.A. series, featuring David Eric Laine is now up to 4 books, L.A.
Heat, Best Mystery/Thriller Rainbow Award 2009. L.A. Mischief, L.A.
Boneyard, and L.A. Bytes which is out and recieving rave reviews. I’m also the author of Amber Allure’s best selling erotic romance Lynx Woods. You can find all my books, including buy links and excerpts at
http://www.pabrown.ca

Next up: Join me aboard a dark, mysterious train into unrelenting darkness, a journey so perilous, I would only undertake it for the reward of discovering the 10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian (and fellow Saskatchewan) Crime Writer Gail Bowen.

It was the beginning of what would turn into a very rainy weekend in Saskatoon when I left on Thursday morning for 5 days 6 nights in Toronto.

Rainy Saskatoon - They say this is the wettest spring on record.

Upon landing I was on the go, dashing to my hotel, the downtown Hilton, to freshen up and change and head to the Mysteriously Yours Theatre for the Crime Writers of Canada Arthur Ellis Awards.

Mysteriously Yours Dinner Theatre

The sixth Russell Quant mystery, Aloha, Candy Hearts was shorlisted in the Best Crime Novel Category.

Aloha Candy Hearts: A Russell Quant Mystery

Alas, my colleague, Howard Shrier was the winner of the award for his novel High Chicago. Many congratulations to Howard and our fellow shortlisted writers, RJ Harlick,  Lee Lamothe, and James W. Nichol. It was a fun night, spent in the company of many fine writers and those who support us, including my editor Gillian Rodgerson.

The next day was my last board meeting and AGM as treasurer of the CWC, followed by the start of the Bloody Words Mystery Conference (the 10th anniversary).

With Maureen Jennings

Maureen Jennings (of Murdoch Mysteries – books and TV series – fame) was there along with her equally famed husband of Iden Ford Photography who took these and many other wonderful photos throughout the weekend.

With Jim Napier, crime fiction reviewer for the Sherbrook Record.

You can also look up Iden at idenfordphotography.com  and Jim at www.deadlydiversions.com.

Saturday was the Bloody Words Banquet and presentation of both the Hammett and Bony Pete Awards.

First bestowed in 1992, the Hammett Award is given out by the North American Branch of the International Association of Crime Writers to reward a work of literary excellence (fiction or non-fiction) in the field of crime writing, by a US or Canadian author.

Being on the board of IACW, I was honoured to be asked to read an excerpt from one of the this year’s nominees – Jedediah Berry for The Manual of Detection.

The Manual of Detection

And then, Jedediah won the prize. Congratulations Jedediah.

The Bony Pete for best short story, went to Catherine Astolfo, my fellow CWC board memeber and incoming presdient.

The Bony Pete Award - it actually looks like this - and it shakes and rattles too

Catherine Astolfo

Just a note: both Catherine and Maureen have been subjects of my 10 Silly Things You Didn’t Know About Canadian Crime Writers blog series that you can find here – just search for their names to get their quicker than scrolling down.

 And somewhere, somehow that night, Iden caught me and Bloody words organizer Cheryl Freedman, IACW President Steve Steinbock and his wife Sue, and Catherine Astolfo registering our shock as we jointly read page 51 of Jill Edmondson’s (seated at front) new book!

The horror!

And now its off to a board retreat. I’ve greatly enjoyed working with the people on this board – Kay Stewart, Nat Grant, Lou Allin, Sue Pike, Cathy Astolfo, Garry Ryan, Alison Bruce, and our new Administrator Mel Campbell. i will really mis then all.  It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….:) and now its over.

The results are in on my latest website poll which asked the question: What do you most enjoy about Russell Quant.

The most common response – 26% to be exact - was that the thing they like the most about Russell Quant is his sense of humour.

A good sense of humour

This is very satisfying to hear. Sometimes I wonder where Russell comes up with some of the things he says  – they are things I’d never say or think in real life – but it seems second nature to him.  I never even knew I was writing humour into my books until after the first book, Amuse Bouche, came out. People would come up to me and tell me how they laughed out loud at this or that. I’d think to myself: Really? I had to go back to read the book to find the funny. Even today, I don’t write to be funny, but certain circumstances/characters/scenes just turn out that way. Other writers tell me that is the best way to write humour, as it isn’t forced, it just is.

Very close behind, at 21%, people enjoy reading about Russell because he is gay, 17% like that he lives in Saskatoon, and 12% like that every so often his favourite thing to do is to hole up in his house with his pooches, Barbra and Brutus, and just hang out.

Matching at 7% each, were that Russell travels the world, and that he enjoys time with family & friends.

5% of respondents liked that he was Canadian (although I think the option of liking that he lives in Saskatoon may have skewed this answer’s %).

At low %s were that (1) he enjoys food & wine, (2) he’s half Irish/half Ukrainian, and (3) he’s a PI. The last one surprised me. Someone who saw these results told me this was a good thing, because it means readers are liking Russell for who he is rather than what he does.

On to the next poll.

Whodunit?

This was inspired by a recent email I received from a reader who told me he hadn’t guessed whodunit when he read Date With a Sheesha (although he did guess correctly about a major development in Russell’s personal life). He noted that although he enjoys being surprised, when he figures out whodunit before the end of the book, it makes him feel smart. What about you? To answer, cast your vote at:

http://www.anthonybidulka.com/home.php